When it comes to talking about money, start early, start small and make it normal. Try to avoid talking about the big sh*t before you have sorted out the small stuff. Keep in mind that our experiences, skill sets and mindsets are all different things.
With children 0-7 years
A 2013 study commissioned by the Money Advice Service demonstrated that money habits are established by the age of 7, and that caregivers are the greatest influence on children.
-Children learn by mimicking what you do: so how you talk and deal with money forms a pattern of behaviour for them;
-Children learn by observation: it may seem obvious, but if you don’t show them the different ways you use money, they will have no idea it exists;
-Language is important: use numbers and numeracy as much as possible. Point out numbers on letterboxes, count how many sticks you have picked up, find the numbers in the everyday
Things to try
- Once you are sure they won’t swallow the coins, get a money box! Start the conversation and listen to the questions you are asked.
- Talk through what you are doing each time you go to the shops using simple language. Try to use cash where possible so the children can see the exchange of money.
- Get your children into the habit of giving money to the cashier and taking change (also a great time to get the ‘please’ and ‘thankyou’ practice in). Explain what the cashiers are doing – and also mention that it’s a very important job to be handling so much money each day.
With children 8-18 years
This is the time when children get to learn by doing. So, let them learn! Think back to the money lessons you learned when you were young. Introduce the concept of an income – however you think is best. BUT (and here is the big but) do not try to control their spending decisions or swoop into rescue if they make a poor choice. Create a safe environment where your child can make money mistakes and the consequences won’t hurt too much.
Things to keep in mind
- Do not try to control their spending – but do control their income. You make the judgement call on how much money a child should have, and how they get it. – Keep talking about money as a normal everyday thing. Do not try to hide problems (if you have problems) and explain your concerns and feelings in age-appropriate language.
- Remember – they are still watching you! The shopping habits you display are the shopping habits they will pick up. Children know the difference between what you say and how you act – and they will call you out.
- At the right time, encourage them to get a job. Dog walking, baby-sitting, car washing – some things never change.
- Keep using cash as much as possible. And do not – DO NOT – get a credit card for your child. Just don’t do it. Don’t. I’m serious. I could go on all day about it. (I mean, just the name is misleading. It’s a DEBT card! And expensive debt too!! Somebody get me a paper bag…)
- Let them make mistakes! Have I said this before? I’ll say it again. Resist the urge to rescue them from a difficult situation (within reason of course!) and help your child learn from their decisions and actions.
With the big kids in your life
By the time we leave school, money becomes so much more important to our identities and how we see ourselves in the world. Money conversations are more complex and at the same time you (probably) have little control over anyone else’s money habits. However, you can still have a huge influence on the big kids in your life (including your partner) by having open conversations.
Start small – find a news or blog article to talk about together. Look through trusted websites together to find information (I highly recommend the Money Advice Service as a great place to start) and listen to podcasts in the car.
Resources
My articles! Get the conversation started by having a look through bitesize articles
www.wtf-money.com/articles
The Money Clinic Podcast with Claer Barrett from the Financial Times. I can’t say enough about how fabulous I think this podcast is! She makes me chuckle and I learn something new every time I listen.
https://www.ft.com/money-clinic-with-claer-barrett?page=1
The Money Advice Service – Habit Formation and Learning in Young Children by Dr David Whitebread and Dr Sue Bingham, University of Cambridge
www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/corporate/adult-money-habits-are-set-by-the-age-ofseven-years-old-shows-new-study
Open Up: Why Talking About Money Will Change Your Life by Alex Holder https://uk.bookshop.org/books/open-up-why-talking-about-money-will-change-yourlife/9781788161886
Book a free consultation with your expert money coach Fleur Iannazzo,
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