Cara Radford, Women in Tech forum
According to the Cambridge English Dictionary, assertiveness is the quality of being confident and not frightened to say what you want or believe.
As women, our desire to maintain positive relationships with the people we are interacting with can sometimes lead us to hold back our opinions and ideas, and to suppress our true feelings. Holding back, doesn’t serve us well in our career, particularly if you desire to move into leadership positions. The ability to assert yourself in a clam and respectful manner is extremely important, and key to successful communication.
During the Women in Tech forum event this week, Sara Rossio, Chief Product Officer of G2 stated “You can be assertive, and still vulnerable. That is a very powerful balance”.
A profound statement and one that resonated with the audience. Often women think that when we need to be assertive, we almost feel the need to adopt masculine traits and not share our femininity, when in fact we should be combining our assertiveness with what makes us unique, and embracing our truly authentic self.
Rossio highlighted that its knowing when to ask for help, knowing when to admit you don’t have all the answers and asking questions, continuing to constantly be learning, and thus realising that there is the stage of acknowledgement.
This confidence comes from being yourself and not trying to be someone else. Early in Rossio’s career people advised her to dress like a man, put on a pants suit and pull her hair back and she just said no – “I am who I am and I want to feel comfortable and confident in my own skin and that is who I’m going to be, and that’s it.”
Outlining her 22 year career to date, Rossio demonstrated how she navigated through the four main communication styles in her early roles, summarised as;
- – Assertive: I Win, You Win
- – Passive / Aggressive: I lose, You Lose
- – Aggressive: I Win, You Lose
- – Passive: I Lose, You Win
At times many learnings from engaging in an assertive communication style became pivotal in her career. In these moments, Rossio emphasised that having true understanding of the goals of your company, and ensuring you have common goals is absolutely vital. This propels your understanding of how you fit in, and acknowledgment is met.
Offering further practical advice, Rossio provided her tips to help you find your voice and create impact, they include:
- – Build your confidence through data
- – Be simple and direct
- – Practice saying no
- – Let go of negative emotions and blame
- – Remember your body language
- – Be compassionate and understand others point of view
- – Use your energy to stand your ground when it matters
As Rossio used these elements of engagement, she grew and became more confident. She did heed some advice once your confidence builds, “a lot of times you start running fast and wanting to win, just be careful that in your confidence you keep listening and learning. You don’t have all the answers”.
In closing, Rossio stated, “I can say that as a leader, and with more than 20 years in the business I’m still learning and I find that I’m making the most impact because I am human.”
“I’m confident. I’m direct but I’m human.”
Joining Sara Rossio on the virtual stage was Jessica Nordlander, Chief Operating Officer of Thoughtexchange and Komal Helyer, Vice President of Marketing of Pure360.
Helyer supported Sara’s comments about being an active listener, and truly understanding your audience. “Know who you are talking to, how they want you to convey a business case. Some people are very data led and like Sara said, some people want just one sentence.
Other people want you to give the background and then more detail. So, understanding your audience and reading the room is extremely important in delivering your message”.
An additional piece of advice from Helyer was outside of our normal ‘business as usual’ role, we need to engage in strategic moves towards becoming more credible and therefore more assertive. “As women, we have to work harder at ensuring that our point is heard and respected”, stated Helyer.
Aside from Helyer’s day job, she holds many external positions, including; DMA email counselor, chair of the DMA email outreach and hub, an award’s judge, creates content for the industry associations, this combined obviously shows the power of assertiveness, credibility and drive.
What practices will you incorporate into your communication style to become more assertive?
To view the full recording of the Women in Tech forum event, The Power of Assertiveness, become a member to access the on demand events, leadership series interviews, and carefully curated content. Learn more at Women in Tech forum.
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